3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
