she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head