I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
