i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.