Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
