I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
