first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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