i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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