oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
