But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize