There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
