went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
