On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's like iHOP with fire
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
