woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
