She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
