Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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