I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
