Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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