you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
