are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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