I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
