New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
