week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
