toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
