great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
