I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
