thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Shame - the story of my life.
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