i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
