i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
