I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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