My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
