just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
