I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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