Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
