I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
