I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found the puke drawer
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize