WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
