sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
