Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
