he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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