you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
