Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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