It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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