I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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