Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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