you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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