I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
