yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
