1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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