Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
