twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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