Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
