i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
