Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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