so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
