That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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