so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
