they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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