i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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