The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
