the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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