i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i dont even know how to be here
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
