I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
