So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
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So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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