I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
