You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
